"I can't get out!" she cried. "I've tried so many times; nothing works, there's no way to get out. I don't know what else to do."
He stood outside the deep pit, looking down into the darkness, at the bedraggled, shivering figure that stood just a few feet from the steps leading out of the muddy depths. "You need to get over to your left - there are steps there that you can use to climb out. That's how I got out."
"I can't," she said, "I've tried, and they're too steep."
"They are steep," he conceded, "but they're the only way out. "If you really want to be free, you need to find a way to climb them. There's a rope on the side that you can hold onto and pull yourself up."
She staggered over to the steps, grabbed the rope, and started to pull herself up. But, in addition to being steep, the steps were slippery - drenched in mud. As she started to climb, she kept her head down, looking at the slimy step she was standing on, and slipped. She cried out in frustration.
"Keep your head up!" He called to her. "You need to look at the top step - look up, where you want to end up. If you look down, you will follow your gaze and keep slipping back into the pit."
"But the steps are so slippery!" she shouted. I can't look up.
"You can do it!" he promised. "If I can do it, so can you! But you need to take your focus off the pit, and look where you're going. Each time you fall, and find yourself back in the mud, if you keep looking at the mud, that's where you'll stay. Instead, each time you slip, pick your head up, look at the top of the pit, hold onto the rope, and pull yourself up to the next step."
"But it's so hard," she cried, "they're so slippery, and it's so dark."
"I know," he said gently, "and I respect your choice."
"What choice?" she demanded.
"You have the choice to look up, even though the steps are slippery. You have the choice to keep your focus on the top as you ignore the mud and pull on the rope, lifting yourself from one step to the next, with my encouragement. Or you can keep looking at where you are. You can keep focused on the mud, and stay where you are. Those are your two choices. There is no other. Whichever you choose, I will respect... but know that it is your choice. Do what it takes to look up and get out (for you know the steps are there), or choose to keep looking where you are - and remain."
No matter how bad things are - no matter how helpless, hopeless and powerless you may feel at any given time - you always have a choice. And the choice is where you put your focus. You will go wherever you're looking.
When you're feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless, angry, frustrated - or any other negative emotion - no matter how bad it is, you have the choice: continue to think about whatever it is you're thinking about (focusing on the mud), or choose to put your focus on something else. Nothing outside of you has the ability to control your focus. Only you can do that. If Viktor Frankl was able to take his focus off the horrors of his experiences in concentration camps, and place it on where he would rather be (looking up and at where he wanted to go, rather than down and where he was), you can take your focus off wherever you are, and put it on where you'd rather be.
When Things are Bad, You Have a Choice:
1. Choose to do whatever it takes to move your focus off whatever it is that's bad, and tap, watch comedy, dance, go for a walk, read your Happy Journal (or something else uplifting), play a game, listen to uplifting music, do an activity you love doing, think about an activity you love doing, think about someone you love... or anything else that will pull your focus off the problem. And then, once you're out of the intense bad feelings, use FasterEFT to change the childhood memories that are the cause of these bad feelings and experiences - and do whatever it takes to Prioritize that....
2. Continue to look at where you are - and stay there. Continue to look at "what is" and how bad it is, and why nothing will work, and all the reasons for it etc.... and stay where you are.
And that second option is okay - there's no judgement. But it's important to realize it is a choice. It is your choice. You may not have a choice in the circumstances; you may not have a choice in what others are doing... but you DO have a choice in where you look. That is entirely within your power. And where you look determines how you feel... which determines where you go from here - even though it may not seem like that right now.
Where you look determines how you feel.
You decide where to look.
Which means you decide how to feel.
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Odille and Steve Remmert are specialists in subconscious reprogramming. Having significantly transformed their own lives by changing their subconscious programming, they're excited to be helping others do the same!