We know that forgiveness can be the key to moving forward and being happier, but it’s not always easy to achieve. Emotions of hurt, betrayal, anger, and resentment can be overpowering and debilitating.
The fact that every negative emotion is hurting ourselves, rather than the person we’re unable to forgive, is not enough to overcome them.
Forgiving someone can feel like letting them off the hook, or condoning their behavior. So, what’s the answer? And what makes it easier for some people to forgive than others?
These Stepping Stones to Forgiveness are in two parts:
1. Finding the original references
2. The Due Justice Technique
Finding the Original References
Since we cannot experience anything for which we don’t already have a subconscious reference, finding those original references is key to making forgiveness easier.
Think about the person you wish you could forgive, right now. What is the worst thing about what they did?
For example, Debbie’s husband divorced her, and she hasn’t been able to forgive him. The worst thing, for her, is that he didn’t give her a chance to work it out. He refused to go for counselling, and by the time she knew there was anything wrong, he’d already made up his mind.
How does that feel? What emotions and feelings are there?
For Debbie, it was feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, along with a feeling of being trapped.
Step Three... Continue Reading: Stepping Stones to Forgiving the Unforgivable