I picked up the phone, and on the other end was someone who wanted to book me to sing for a corporate cabaret event. I was in my twenties, and working as a professional actress and singer.
Up until that point, I had been told what I would be paid for any particular job. The call should have been exciting, and I should have been feeling proud of myself. Instead, I ended up asking one of the most embarrassing questions I had ever asked (and I’d asked a few!).
“How much do you want to be paid?” he asked. A perfectly reasonable question from someone who is hiring a professional performer. I hesitated, and my mind went completely blank. Tumble-weed-blank. “How much do you want to pay me?” I asked.
Self-confidence is described by the Oxford dictionary as: “A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.” And the key here is that, since it is self-confidence, no-one outside of you can give it to you.
No matter how much others praise and admire you; no matter how much others believe in you; if you don’t have the “evidence” inside you that proves you’re amazing, worthy, intelligent, talented, exceptional, it’s like pouring water into a jar without taking the lid off it.
Self-confidence is not something you can change on the surface. Pretending to be confident may work to a certain extent, but your subconscious contains evidence that proves you can’t trust your abilities, qualities, and judgement.
So, rather than trying to act confident, the reliable, permanent solution is to change the evidence! Change the evidence so that it proves you can trust your abilities, qualities and judgement!
Change that evidence, and you will automatically feel a natural, authentic, and empowering confidence in yourself.
How is Self-Confidence Determined?From birth, the subconscious is constantly interpreting experiences, and then filing the meaning of those experiences — based on previous experiences — to form a structure of who we are and how the world works.
Then, in every moment, the subconscious is ... Continue Reading: What is Self-Confidence? And How to Get More of it!